


Execute Order Sixty-Six

by SpiderMansUnfriendlyNeighbor



Series: Time-Traveling Artoo [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Order 66, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Next Step: Matchmaking, R2 is a Time Traveler, R2-D2 Saves the Day, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:06:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24174829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiderMansUnfriendlyNeighbor/pseuds/SpiderMansUnfriendlyNeighbor
Summary: This is not going to go the way you think!No, really. Palpatine’s not sure who altered what the orders were, but when he does, they’ll be sorry.(Artoo did it. He’s not sorry.)
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo, Lux Bonteri/Ahsoka Tano, Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Time-Traveling Artoo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1836916
Comments: 123
Kudos: 1184
Collections: All Time Travel All the time, Hindsight is 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I've seen this idea in a fic before. However, I can't seem to find it. Nevertheless, this work is inspired by the various crack-y Order 66 fics I've read.

Anakin ran to his starfighter. He just couldn’t let Palpatine die, not without learning how to stop death. He knew, _he knew_ this would be the worst decision of his life, but he couldn’t live without Padmé.

He pushed the button to turn on the engine, but nothing happened. He flipped switches, pushed buttons, pulled levers, but nothing happened.

[Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord,] Artoo beeped.

“I know that, Artoo! Get this ship going!”

[Sith Lords lie.]

“I know that! The ship is broken!”

[It is 99.99987% certain that Chancellor Palpatine, Dooku’s master, ordered the assassination of Mistress Padmé.]

“I know that! I—wait.” Anakin’s hands froze as they hovered over the controls. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

[Chancellor Palpatine, twice-cursed sleemo son of a Hutt, admitted he lied to you. He has been lying to you for thirteen years. The odds are 282,437,882 to 1 that he is lying about his ability to save Mistress Padmé.]

“I can’t lose her!”

[Mistress Padmé is perfectly healthy. The odds are 9,365,789 to 1 of her dying in childbirth.]

“I had a…dream.” Anakin faltered, realizing how ridiculous that would sound to a droid. “I can’t lose her the way I lost my mother.”

[Mistress Padmé is in no danger of dying from a Tusken Raider attack.]

Anakin groaned and sat back in his seat. “That’s not what I meant.”

[Did not Madame Skywalker die because you were not there? And are you not here with Padmé? Have you not been with her since you began having nightmares?]

“That’s…a really good point.” Anakin melted into his seat. “I lost my mother because I wasn’t there. Maybe the dreams are warnings for me not to leave her. Maybe it’s a good thing they didn’t send me to kill Grievous! I could have lost her and it would have been all my fault! I’m going to see her right now, Artoo. I shouldn’t leave her until the baby’s born. Then I’ll know she’ll be all right.”

[Great idea, Master!]

Anakin reached for the controls to turn on the engine. The starfighter responded instantly. He barely even noticed as he piloted himself towards Padmé’s apartment.

Palpatine scowled at Mace Windu’s dead body. Anakin should have been here by now. He was beginning to think he wasn’t coming. Oh, well. At least the rest of his plan could go forward now. It was only a matter of time before Anakin came round. After all, it was his wife’s life seemingly at stake.

He pulled up his comm. “Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order Sixty-Six.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Obi-Wan was breathless from his fight with Grievous. He was glad to finally be able to rest. The war was essentially over. Of course, looking around at Utapau, it was clear that it would take the rest of the galaxy a while to catch up. And as long as there was still fighting, he had a job to do.

He directed Boga to stop behind Cody. “Commander, contact your troops. Tell them to move to the higher levels.”

“Very good, sir.” Cody started to turn away, then stopped. “Oh, by the way, I think you’ll be needing this.” He held out Obi-Wan’s lightsaber.

Obi-Wan took it. It was a very good thing Anakin hadn’t come along on this mission. He’d never let him hear the end of this. “Thank you, Cody. Let’s get a move on. We’ve got a battle to win here.”

He slapped Boga with the reins, and they charged up a path to the higher levels. He drew his lightsaber, careful not to lose his grip on it this time.

The firing that had been echoing all around him stopped. Confused, he turned Boga around. What was going on? Had something come up? Had his troops all suddenly died or something?

No, from a distance, he could see them all still moving. And he hadn’t felt their deaths in the Force. He urged Boga on.

He grew closer to them, close enough to make out what they were doing. He froze, and Boga instinctively froze under him.

They were dancing. And…singing? Obi-Wan couldn’t be sure, but he thought he could hear a chorus of voices. He enhanced his hearing with the Force.

“AAAAYYY, macarena, macarena!”

“Hey, this is kind of nice!” a battle droid said.

“I like this!”

“Why don’t we dance, too?”

Obi-Wan didn’t know what to do. One moment, he was in the middle of a raging battle, and the next, the clones and the droids were dancing the Macarena.

Well, at least the battle was over.

Ki-Adi-Mundi charged ahead on the bridge in the midst of blaster fire. He turned and gestured to his men. “Come on!” He raised his lightsaber in the air and ran forward.

An unfamiliar language rose behind him. Was that…singing? He turned, confused. What was wrong with his men?

His battalion…his _entire_ battalion…was dancing. In the middle of battle.

 _Sounds like something Skywalker would do._ He shouted “Come on!” again, no longer confident his men would listen, and charged ahead to take out the droids, on his own if he had to.

Aayla Secura was marching through the jungle in Felucia when her clone battalion suddenly stopped. She turned away from the bird flying overhead to question her commander. But Bly was singing and dancing.

“Commander Bly?”

The rest of the troops followed suit.

“Commander Bly!”

“AAAAYYY, macarena, macarena!”

“What is going on? Troopers!”

But nothing Aayla Secura did made a difference.

The galaxy had gone mad.

Confusion flooded Yoda’s senses. All he could feel from all of the Jedi spread all across the galaxy was utter bafflement. He dropped his cane, unable to cope with the flood of bewilderment. What was going on?

Plo Koon didn’t notice at first that his troopers had dropped away. He spotted their ships making for the closest landing pad. Something must have gone horribly wrong.

As he came close, he saw their ships land. The two troopers jumped out of their ships and joined a crowd of troopers singing and dancing.

Plo Koon landed his ship and joined in. At least his troopers were having a good time.

Stass Allie was flying a speeder bike alongside her troopers on the plains of Saleucami when her troopers suddenly stopped.

She turned her speeder bike around and stopped it. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, ma’am. We just need to fulfill our orders.” The two troopers jumped off their bikes and began to sing and dance.

Baffled, Stass Allie could do nothing but stare. “Who gave you those orders?”

But she got no answer.

Yoda turned. Two troopers were singing and dancing in the back of the treehouse.

He sighed and made his way over to the comms. Crazy, the world was becoming. Completely crazy.

Palpatine could feel immediately something had gone wrong. He wasn’t feeling the glorious waves of death and destruction he was supposed to be feeling.

He was still trying to puzzle out what had gone wrong when the bomb that had been planted in his office mere hours before went off.

Mistress Padmé was becoming very flustered by Master Ani’s mother henning. Artoo beeped happily. Everything was going perfectly this time around. Palpatine should be dead by now. Shame he couldn’t save Angry-Bald-Jedi and Jedi-Council-Members 5, 7, and 3, but some things couldn’t be stopped. He’d only returned from the future a few months ago, after all.

He plugged into the Holonet terminal and dumped the evidence he’d gathered on Dirty-Sith-Sleemo and every last criminal in the Galactic Republic onto the Holonet, along with the information on the clones being ordered by the Sith, their inhibitor chips, and the original orders. Also any government atrocities and the Death Star Plans, which he’d had a copy of in his hard drive since Mistress Leia had given it to him a long time ago in the future. It was being built right now, by his calculations, and it needed to be destroyed. With that, the government should be set right by Mistress Padmé, Friend-Bail, Former-Chief-of-State-Mon-Mothma, and Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka’s-boyfriend.

By his calculations, Master Luke and Mistress Leia should be on their way within the next few hours, and, with Master Ani not at risk of becoming Evil-Stupid-Darth-Vader-Get-Away-From-the-Twins, Mistress Padmé was going to give birth just fine. Now he just had to figure out how to get Crazy-Master-Han-Solo to meet Mistress Leia and track down beloved-master’s-wife-Mara so Master Luke could be happy. But given everything else he had managed to do, matchmaking was going to turn out just fine.

The galaxy was going to turn out great.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sequel Fic Posted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally finished the sequel to Execute Order Sixty-Six, Matchmaking! Here's a preview of the first chapter. To check it out, click on my profile or click to next work in series.

“Put in the hyperspace coordinates, Artoo,” Master Ani said.

  
Artoo beeped happily and plugged into the port. It had been far too long since he’d had the opportunity to plug in hyperspace coordinates. Master Ani had spent over a year stuck on Coruscant. Artoo wasn’t exactly sure of everything that had been going on, but Master Ani had been arguing with the Jedi Council a lot. All he really cared about was that Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka was back and a Jedi again. She and Master Ani had gone on one mission together, but Artoo hadn’t been invited.

  
He hadn’t been very happy about that.

  
He did acknowledge, however, that the Republic had needed him. The Senate had been in an uproar ever since Artoo had dumped his information on the Holonet. Artoo’s bomb had been blamed on a rogue Separatist droid. A lot of political machinations Artoo preferred to leave to Mistress Padmé, Friend-Bail, Former-Chief-of-State-Mon Mothma, and Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka’s-boyfriend had ensued. Of course, Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka claimed she had no boyfriend, but Artoo knew what a secret relationship was. He also knew it didn’t need to be secret anymore after the changes the Jedi had made, but the silly sentients wouldn’t listen to him.

  
They never did.

  
The Skywalker family, which included reckless-Master-Obi-Wan-Ben-Kenobi-Mistress-Leia’s-only-hope and Master-Ani’s-sweet-sister-Ahsoka, was finally temporarily released from their duties and were going on a much-needed vacation to Naboo. At least, that’s what they thought was happening.

  
Artoo happily inputted the coordinates for Corellia.


End file.
